How to become less emotional

Being emotional

Have you ever experienced moments where you felt melting? where your heart pace started to accelerate like crazy? where you were not breathing anymore? When I say emotional I mean taking the things personally. If you have read the 4 agreements, you would have learned from it « don’t take anything personally » it does not serve you.

Don’t take it personally

You feel you are not enough

It is not always as easy, and I know what I am talking about, I have struggled with this a lot.
If I could not deliver what others expected or on time at work for example, I felt my world was falling a part. If someone was complaining about one of my behaviors, if my presentations were criticized I could not help but feel bad, having the sensation that I was a bad person, that I was not worthy…
In a relationship, it can happen that you disagree with your partner and start thinking he does not understand you but start also to think at what you are doing wrong.

You feel you are the problem

The other aspect of being an « emotion sponge » is that if someone is in a bad mood, not happy for any reason, you also usually take it personally. As a result, you just feel part of the reason, you think that the person is not feeling well because you are not as good as or not as fun as…Then it can even go further and you will try to fix their problems or to satisfy their needs.

Actually, being emotional is a reflection of a need to be loved…

The reasons why you feel like that

« What you saw, heard and experienced in childhood – in your family, in the wider community and at school – will have influenced the way you see yourself.
Examples of early experiences that could lead to your thinking badly of yourself include:
* systematic punishment, neglect or abuse
* failing to meet parental standards
* failing to meet peer-group standards
* being on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distress.
* belonging to a family or social group that other people are prejudiced towards
* an absence of praise, warmth, affection or interest »

What can help you?
  • Check on with your perception, I have developed on this subject in this article. It is a pretty amazing tool and when it becomes a true habit, your life goes smoothly.
  • Pause, take a break, have a walk around. There is good breathing techniques to overcome emotional peaks. Actually, yoga was key for me to focus more on my breathe and it helps you when you start noticing your heart rate going up.
  • Think « Love ». Start by loving yourself but also others – a post is here for you.
  • Step back from judgement. If you can hold on comparing yourself and only think about facts. We are each and everyone unique and you are not to be anything else than a better version of yourself.
  • Let it go. Think of your values and priorities, look at your goals and try to focus on those things.

What is your way to avoid taking things personally? I would be glad to know your tools and tips !

∞ em live love ∞

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